honestly where’s that post about nostalgia and how nothing’s ever as good as you remember it 

when i was on my program a huge part of me wanted nothing more than to just go home, but now i’m home and life kind of went more or less back to the way i had it and now i just want to go back to where i was on my program 

i miss my job at epcot, i miss being in the center of something that made me so happy every day

i miss having so much freedom to do whatever, i miss quiet late night resort exploring, i miss that feeling of blending into the crowd after a day of being in the middle of it and afternoons spent lying in the hub grass because it was too hot to do anything else 

i miss the friends i made across all lines of business and locations, hell i even miss my days at resto when i’d get off just as the sun was going down and the heat was going away and closing the dining rooms where it was just me in this massive restaurant with that dumb dinosaur music loop 

i miss sudden rain storms, i miss wearing my hair in pigtails to work because it was cute and went with my dino car hop costume, i miss knowing that whatever i did that day be it answer a question, give directions, or just have a conversation, i really contributed to someone’s day 

i miss especially those rare, weird days i’d have a day shift at magic kingdom and then spend the night by myself in the park and i’d always see donald and goofy because they had no line, i’d also see anna who remembered me every time and she’d give me the warmest hug ever, just because, and i’d see the last electrical parade in frontierland where there was no one else around, and i miss just…sitting right in front of the castle watching celebrate the magic 

i miss my original roommate family and our “family dinners” and the time we all watched wishes from bay lake tower

i miss ian, who helped me laugh off those guests who berated me over pins one day, and who i couldn’t help but smile at delivering that school’s group of drinks like it was starbucks AND show, and who, on my very last day, i saw and wrote “goodbye katie, we’ll miss you” on my cup which lives on my desk now

 i miss my home in dinoland usa and in future world and the life i managed to make there out of nothing but a residual childhood dream and the will to just keep moving forward 

even on those hot days, and those long days, and the days i spent deployed, and even the ones where i left sour and ready to quit, but i didn’t

 and i ask myself would everything be as great as i seem to remember it, would i be satisfied?  is this me just now appreciating what i had when before? 

i don’t know what i want i just